oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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