oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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