Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
