So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
