I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
