they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
