I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
