I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
