FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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