i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
