why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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