Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
