bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
