Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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