After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
