i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
