If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
