It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
