I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
