if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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