You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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