I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
