"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How naked do you want me to be?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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