i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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