What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
