It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pants are for mortals
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
