So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
