thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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