I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
They have beer where we have blood.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
