My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
