She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
