hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
