I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
