dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
