I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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