are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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