he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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