i may or may not be watching the land before time
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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