I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
