Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
