have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
