If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
