It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
