we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
