Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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