There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
