He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
cat food counts as protein by the way
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
