It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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