Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
