Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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